After a series of treatment attempts, including both conventional drug and alternative (homeopathic, acupuncture, etc.) therapies, I eventually became dependent on narcotics for pain relief. As those, too, began to lose their effectiveness, I was beginning to imagine a life ahead of nothing but ever-increasing doses of numbing drugs. My life and sense of self began to slip away, and felt as if it was no longer my own. Despite the best efforts of all my excellent doctors, my depression was becoming paralyzing.
Although I am very cautious about trying new therapies and drugs, I was urged by both conventional and naturopathic doctors to try Calmare - a treatment designed specifically for neuropathic pain like my own, which often occurs after the use of certain chemotherapy drugs. Fortunately, I agreed.
As of today I have completed only 4 treatments (which will last a total of ten days/one hour sessions), and I feel as if, after four years of living in jail, the door has been opened and I am free. On the 2nd day of treatment I experienced a full 24 hours of pain-free living in my body. I spent that fabulous day feeling a range of emotions I have not been able to for years, as my physical pain had trumped all other feelings for all that time. As I write this I am pain free, and although I have had a few hours of light to medium pain come and go in the other 3 days, I have to say that overall I am more thrilled to be back in my life than I have words to express.
It can be hard to remember all we are missing when we are in physical pain -- all of the time we spend trying to hide it, be "brave," and do our best to stay vertical and sane when the foundation for all we do is based on pain and pain management. But my life is already coming back to me. I am feeling other things again, from sadness to silliness to joy and, most especially, deep gratitude for the freedom to be back in my body again. And all this is after only 4 days treatment!
Every member of the staff at The Montana Center for Pain and Wellness has been wonderfully helpful, understanding, and supportive -- I mean cheerleader supportive -- of me and my journey and the help I've been so blessed to receive from them. As for the Calmare...I feel I have finally found a solution to my pain that works without covering it as drugs do, but rather as lifting it away: it feels instead as if it has been removed, and floated away
I am very excited to see and feel all that will come next.